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The Sandwich Shop

These are my thoughts. They are based on what I see going on around me.

Location: Cincinnati, Ohio, United States

I know very little about myself. If I did know myself better, I probably wouldn't be doing this.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

From Oct. 5, 2005

Mom Was Right Again:

I first heard this phrase from my mom. In fact, come to think
of it, she may be the only person I ever actually heard say, "
Out of everything bad comes something good".
When I read the headline, "Is the big SUV dying?" her words
rang in my ear. I know we're supposed to be all worried and
filled with a sense of doom over the rising cost of gasoline
and it's potential scarcity.
But, as I read that,
[ "sales of sport-utility vehicles took a dive in
September", and that " sales of the Ford Explorer dropped by
58% and sales of the Ford Expedition (14mpg) dropped 61%",
"Ford even stopped producing its even larger SUV,the
Excursion", "sales of GM's full-size SUVs fell 56%", "Hummer
H2 (10 mpg) sales were off 31%", "sales of Toyota's immense
Sequoia (15mpg) were off 46% ", "Honda's Pilots were off 26%",
Nissan's Armadas (13mpg) were off 20%" ], instead of wringing
my hands in a fit of worry, I found my self smiling and
humming to myself, "It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood".
In fact, it will be hard for me not to pump my fist in the
air the next time I get behind the wheel of my four cylinder
Volvo station wagon, and let out a Homer
Simpson-style, " Woo-Hoo !".
Using my less than perfect math skills, I figure these
numbers mean a potential drop in the number of SUVs on the
road, while I am on the road, in the 40% range. That would
mean when I park at the supermarket I would have a four in ten
shot at not having to park between two SUVs. That would
translate into a four in ten shot of being able to actually
pull out of that parking spot and being able to see any
vehicles about to crash into me ( as opposed to the Russian
Roulette method the SUVs offer).
I would have a four in ten shot of making eye contact with
the drivers headed right at me while they talk on their cell
phones in heavy traffic.
When I park in a public parking lot, I would have a four ten
shot of mysterious "dings" showing up on my car less
frequently, the kind that are usually the same height as an
SUV bumper.
Speaking of public parking lots, I would have a four in ten
chance of not having to watch SUV drivers point their keychain
remotes at their SUVs ( and hear that annoying "beep,beep"
sound ) as they lock them up so they can buy groceries, and
not have to worry about all those nasty car thieves that hang
out in supermarket parking lots in broad daylight.
That in turn would mean a four in ten chance of not ever
hearing the alarm in an SUV going off in the middle of a
parking lot for twenty or thirty minutes while no one pays any
attention to it ( other than to wish someone would actually
steal it, or throw a rock through the window ).
I could go on, but I don't want to sound like I'm gloating.
I'll just finish by saying, if gas hits $6.00 a gallon and
suddenly all the SUVs are gone, how do I act like I'm not
happier than when only 40% of them were gone ?
I mean, $6.00 a gallon for gas would be a bad thing, wouldn't
it ?
"Woo-Hoo ! "


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